Let's clone God
In order to end all speculation on his existence, the purpose of life, humanity's suffering and where I left my car keys, I propose we use the finding of Jesus' tomb to clone God, and ask him directly all the questions that have plagued his followers since the Bible was first published in weekly installments available from the local news stand.
Apparently they are collecting DNA from the sarcophagi in the tomb, and intend to use it to establish the identity of the deceased. Why this doesn't count as grave robbery, I have no idea, quite frankly. Assuming they are able to find nuclear DNA of the former inhabitants of the coffins, and not just residual mitochondrial DNA, this opens up exciting possibilities for in vitro cloning technology.
Taking Mary's DNA and matching it against that of her son, Jesus, we should be able to remove all his mother's chromosomes and crossed over fragments, and have a pure God chromosome.
Obviously, it would be the "Y" chromosome, as this only occurs in males, and Jesus was the son of god. God, not having a mother, as he just always existed apparently, would have no "X" chromosome, so logically, He must have had two Ys. Duplicating Jesus' Y chromosome and inserting it into a viable egg should allow the production of a God embryo. This bypasses the ethical dilemmas of the human cloning debate, as God is at least as different from us as we are from Chimpanzees.
It stands to reason that what separates God from man, is that us men on earth only have one copy of Y, and are therefore limited to dominating only those directly under our influence. Women, children, animals, plants, and so forth, down the tree of life. It's pretty clear that 2 copies of the Y chromosome grant much greater power, and indeed, would allow total dominion over the universe, and quite conveniently, the ability to create new ones at leisure.
Of course, the cellular mechanisms outside the nucleus must necessarily be inherited from the mother's own cells (though who would volunteer to carry such a special child?), and the resulting infant would not be a true Deity, perhaps a mere demigod. Assuming at least some of the omnipotent omniscience was inherited from the celestial father, though, perhaps some of the most pressing mysteries of life could be revealed in an interview.
Anyone got Andrew Denton's phone number?
Apparently they are collecting DNA from the sarcophagi in the tomb, and intend to use it to establish the identity of the deceased. Why this doesn't count as grave robbery, I have no idea, quite frankly. Assuming they are able to find nuclear DNA of the former inhabitants of the coffins, and not just residual mitochondrial DNA, this opens up exciting possibilities for in vitro cloning technology.
Taking Mary's DNA and matching it against that of her son, Jesus, we should be able to remove all his mother's chromosomes and crossed over fragments, and have a pure God chromosome.
Obviously, it would be the "Y" chromosome, as this only occurs in males, and Jesus was the son of god. God, not having a mother, as he just always existed apparently, would have no "X" chromosome, so logically, He must have had two Ys. Duplicating Jesus' Y chromosome and inserting it into a viable egg should allow the production of a God embryo. This bypasses the ethical dilemmas of the human cloning debate, as God is at least as different from us as we are from Chimpanzees.
It stands to reason that what separates God from man, is that us men on earth only have one copy of Y, and are therefore limited to dominating only those directly under our influence. Women, children, animals, plants, and so forth, down the tree of life. It's pretty clear that 2 copies of the Y chromosome grant much greater power, and indeed, would allow total dominion over the universe, and quite conveniently, the ability to create new ones at leisure.
Of course, the cellular mechanisms outside the nucleus must necessarily be inherited from the mother's own cells (though who would volunteer to carry such a special child?), and the resulting infant would not be a true Deity, perhaps a mere demigod. Assuming at least some of the omnipotent omniscience was inherited from the celestial father, though, perhaps some of the most pressing mysteries of life could be revealed in an interview.
Anyone got Andrew Denton's phone number?
Labels: Cloning god
posted by The Last Scientician at 11:05 PM
5 Comments:
yep. it's 555 9672.
no charge for that, but a front row seat for the interview taping would be appreciated.
I wonder if Denton could get God to cry?
How much do you think God's tears would go for on eBay?
Would they cure all known diseases?
Maybe we could just keep him alive on life support and milk him for his precious bodily fluids.
thought you might like this.....
Darwin's "Origin of Species": free audiobook in .mp3 files here:
http://librivox.org/the-origin-of-species-by-charles-darwin/
you can download a free text version also.
heh hmmm_ you would be cloning the son of god not god. Which according to the trinity is equal to god. Isn't there an episode of Star Trek TNG where they clone the klingon god Kahless- well surely we should learn from this example.
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